Q & A With Jack and Deb Graham
Q Pastor, you talk about the need for men to find a godly mentor who can invest in their lives. Where should I begin looking for that type of person?
A The best place to start looking for a mentor is among men whom you already know and trust. Is there one who stands out as mature in his faith that may be willing to invest in you personally? Or maybe there’s a man in your life who’s already fulfilling the role of a mentor, just without the title. When it comes to looking for a mentor, the path of least resistance is usually the best one to take so your mentor relationship can grow naturally.
Q Deb, I’m trying to figure out if it’s better for me to stay at home with my kids or take a full-time job. Can you give me any advice?
A Working outside of the home has become more and more popular for women over the past 40 years. But most women, in my estimation, work not because they necessarily want to, but because they have to. There are single moms who are working just to make ends meet. And, there are wives whose husband’s income just isn’t enough. So they work.
As a general rule, I usually say if you can stay home and invest in your kids, do it. The best thing you can do is to be a good mother and a good wife who loves her family and exerts the greatest amount of influence possible on their lives.
Q Pastor, what does it look like to live sacrificially for my wife?
A I talked to a man not long ago who told me, “I don’t have a problem dying for my wife. What’s difficult is living for her every day!” Isn’t that true? I think most men wouldn’t hesitate to lay down their life for their wife, but real sacrifice requires that we lay our life down every day. That means always putting her interests above your own and loving her unconditionally as Christ loves the Church.
Q Deb, I came to Christ last year, but my husband isn’t even interested in spiritual things. What is the right biblical response here?
A I’ve spoken to women in this situation who think they need to leave their unbelieving husband and marry a Christian. But 1 Peter 3:1 says, “Even if some (husbands) do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.”
Ultimately, your husband may be won without you saying a word, and you just by living your life as a testimony of your faith. So make it your mission to point your husband to faith in Jesus Christ through your conduct.
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